First of all, we have a new tour for Tim Reynolds. Tim will be on the road through all of October and most of November and… Oh, oh. The phone’s ringing. Could you please excuse us? Our receptionist has the day off and we’re covering the phones for her. This will just take a second.

“Hello, Pollstar.com. Sure, we remember you. We’ve spoken before. How may we help you? What? You want to see Barry Manilow when he plays Vegas in December, but you’re worried about security? No problemo. Perfectly safe. Thanks for calling.”

Sorry about that. Now, where were we? Oh, yeah. There are also a lot of shows going on sale this weekend, like Britney Spears, Aerosmith and U2. We would also like to remind you that…. Oh, there’s the phone again. Just a sec.

“Hello, Pollstar.com. Oh, it’s you again. What? You want to see the Backstreet Boys in Salt Lake City on October 5? Huh? Come again? You have a chance for front row seats but you’re worried that you’ll be too close to A.J? What? His goatee, dark glasses and sullen looks scare you? Huh? Body guards? Mace? Stun guns? No, you don’t need all that. There’s nothing safer than a BB show. No reason to worry. Yes, thanks for calling. Bye.”

That reminds us that a lot of people have been calling and asking us about security at concerts. Let us assure you that concerts are one of the safest public events one could go to. No matter if it’s Gov’t Mule, Queensryche or George “Goober” Lindsey, you’d be hard pressed to find any public event safer than a concert. Oh, there’s the phone again. Please excuse us.

“Hello, Pollstar.com. Yes, we remember you. What? You’re thinking about going to see Neil Sedaka, but you’re worried that your glasses will shatter when he hits a high note? Look, you can’t go through life worried about what may happen if you go to a show. Sure, there are a lot of ‘what ifs.’ Like, ‘what if the power goes out and you’re left in the dark?’ Or what if Neil’s piano bench tips over and falls on everyone in the front row? Or what if Neil takes a disliking to you, pulls you up on stage by your scrawny little neck and strangles you with piano wire while he sings ‘Calendar Girl.’ What if? What if? What if? Sheesh, don’t be so paranoid. Oh, yeah? Same to you, buddy!”

Look, we really have to apologize for that outburst. Rule number one at Pollstar.com demands that we be courteous to all our callers. But the last couple of weeks have been pretty stressful, and we just couldn’t help ourselves. Please believe us when we say we’re not really like that.

It’s just that Marilyn Manson sure can be a pest sometimes.