Dr. Grumby’s research may explain early concert development but what about older adults? Why will an adult suddenly refuse to mosh at the Vans Warped Tour 2000, or pass on The Ozzfest 2000, claiming that it’s “much too loud?” Renowned researcher Professor Roy Hinkley offers a controversial theory that has divided the tour research community.

“Male Concertpause” is an attempt to explain the slowing down of the male musical personality. “It usually hits a man sometime after his 40th birthday,” explains Hinkley. “Switching from active to classic rock radio stations, seeing Steve Miller Band and Lou Reed instead of Nine Inch Nails or KORN are classic symptoms, along with hair loss and a well defined paunch.”

And what about the middle aged men seen at shows like Britney Spears? “Trophy concerts,” says Driftwood. “A vain attempt to capture one’s past youth, glory and a smaller T-shirt size.”

We should point out that these explanations are only theories and there is still much to learn about concerts and their relationship to the human body and aging. As Dr. Paul Eisen and Professor Gene Klein wrote in their groundbreaking thesis, KISS This!, “Middle aged men and women find, that not only are they not as young as they feel, but in order to rock and roll all night, they need to sleep every day.”