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Tours de Farce: You Can Quote Me On That
“Pleasure is all mine.”
“A lot has been written recently about you and your organization.”
“You mean the Springsteen thing.”
“Exactly.”
“Let me say that I speak for all the fine men and women in blue when I say we have nothing but the utmost respect for Mr. Springsteen.”
“You were quoted as calling him, let’s see, it’s in my notes somewhere… Here it is, a ‘dirtbag.'”
“A term of endearment among New Yorkers. I called my wife that name just this morning.”
“You also referred to him as a ‘floating fag.'”
“Another pet name. My mother calls me that all the time.”
“So you were just misunderstood?”
“Let me tell you something. I understand how these quotes must look in the press, but that’s just how some of us New Yorkers talk.”
“Part of the vernacular?”
“Uh?”
“Lingo? A local saying? A regional phrase?”
“Yeah, sure. Something like that. Look, my point was that Springfield.”
“Springsteen.”
“Yeah, whatever. He didn’t need to open up old wounds.”
“You’re referring to the remark about how the city is still going through a time of healing?”
“Exactly. He’s written all those great patriotic songs. Like ‘Born In The USA,’ ‘Youngstown’ and ‘Jesse’s Girl.'”
“Have you actually listened to those songs?”
“Sure thing. ‘I was born down in New York town / Got my first kickback when I hit the ground.’ See? I know all the words.”
“Uh, uh. Well, thank you for your time.”
“It’s just the way we talk around here.”
“Got it.”
“It’s part of our vehicular.”
“Vernacular.”
“That, too.”