Hi, Bill.”

“Dad! What’s up? We were just leaving to see Sixpence None The Richer.”

“I’ve got some bad news for you.”

“Oh, come on, Dad. Not now.”


“Dad, all my life you’ve played practical jokes on me. Remember when I was eight and you told me my dog was run over by a car.”

“Oh, yeah. That was a good one. We even came to school and pulled you out of class, just to make it more convincing.”

“And remember when you told me that Bruce Springsteen wanted to invite me down to the sports arena for one of his shows. You even said that The Boss was going to dedicate a song to me.”

“Had you going on that one. Boy, did you look like a fool. I can still remember you trying to convince backstage security, shouting out, “Do you know who I am?” and “You guys are going to be sorry!”

“And that time when I was nine and you convinced me that Paul McCartney was dead and that there were secret messages in the Beatles albums?”

“I got to admit, that one got a little out of hand.”

“And just last week you called me and told you knew Eddie Vedder’s cousin and he said I could hang with Pearl Jam on their upcoming tour?”

“Not one of my best, but it did make you drop whatever it was you were doing and run down to Sears. How many flannel shirts did you buy, anyway?”

“Now I’m walking out the door to see one of my favorite bands, you call me at the last minute and say you have some ‘bad news’ for me. What is it this time? The Diana Ross & The Supremes tour doesn’t have all the original artists? The stock market crashed and I’ll have to get a job washing windows? I’m adopted and my birth mother was Moms Mabley? What?”

“Your attorney called looking for you. He said the government is going to ask the judge ruling on your antitrust case to break up your company.”

“Forget it, Dad. I’m just not buying it.”

“But, Bill.”

“Not this time, Dad. You know the old saying, ‘you can’t fool all of the people all of the time.’ You’re not going to hook me on this one.”


“Sorry, Dad. Melinda and I are going out. We’re going to have a good time, and you’re not going to ruin it with one of your practical jokes. Okay? Well, gotta run. Bye.” [click]

“Bill? Bill?! Oh, son. You never did have a sense of humor.”