“I can’t wait to see your little bachelor pad, Rob. Uh, what’s this?”

“Just hand me your ticket and walk through the turnstile.”

“You have a turnstile at your front door? Why?”

“It’s part of the overall decorating motif, Contemporary American Concert. The turnstile is just like the ones that will be used at the Greek Theatre for the Marc Anthony concerts on June 19th and 20th. Ticket please.”

“But I don’t have a ticket.”

“Then check with will-call. See if your name is on the list.”


“Let’s see, Lila… Lila… Yep. Come on in, while I turn up the house lights.”

“Err, this is a rather unusual living room. What’s that?”

“My Woodstock ATM machine coffee table. Look, it’s signed by all the Red Hot Chili Peppers.”

“Tell me that’s not a real hand sticking out of the slot.”

“It sure is. Wanna see my certificate of authenticity?”

“No thanks. Say, do you have anything to eat? I’m starved.”

“Let’s see what concessions has. How about some Britney Spears cookies? Extra big chips.”

“Uh, I’ll pass. Can you tell me where the bathroom is?”

“Down the hall and to your left. I like to call it Bruce Springsteen’s Swamps of Jersey.”

“Never mind. I really should be going.”

“I’ll call you.”

“Don’t bother. Look, this isn’t going to work. The hand in the ATM machine, the cookies, the… the… What is that hanging on the wall?”

“It’s a beaver.”

“With an arrow through its tail?”

“Souvenir from a Ted Nugent show. He’s touring with KISS, you know.”

“This is too weird. I’m going.”

“Will I ever see you again?”

“I don’t know. Something’s got to change.”

“No, wait. You can’t leave yet. Please.”

“You want me to stay? You’d change everything just for me?”

“Change? Oh, no. I just need to stamp your hand in case you want to come back in.”