“I’m just going over some year end figures.”


“I did pretty good on those guitar endorsements, but the overhead on my last tour really took a bite out of my net income. Plus, Sting says those capital gains from selling all those dot.com stocks last spring are really going to hurt come tax time.”

“What about that mutual fund Marilyn Manson recommended?”

“Corpus Delicti Unlimited? I’ve been thinking of it. Also that genetic stock that the Backstreet Boys mentioned when we were hanging out backstage at the Grammys. Uh, here it is, Smile Cloning, Inc. Hmm. Nice looking prospective.”

“Didn’t Sarah Brightman mention something about municipal bonds?”

“Yeah, but Snoop Dogg said I’d be better off investing in gold and silver.”

“Well, you always said Snoop knows his stuff.”

“He ain’t called the Steve Forbes of Hip-Hop for nothing. I’ve made a lot of money following his advice.”

You know, before I met you, I never knew that the life of a rock star could be so financially complicated. By the way, did you get that message I left on the fridge?”

“Sure did. That reminds me, I gotta call Bruce Springsteen back and thank him for that tip on Oldsmobile. I bailed out just in time.”

“I’m sure he’ll appreciate it. Is there any chance you can tear yourself away from all this and maybe take me out to dinner and a movie?”

“Gee, I’d love to, Honey. But I still have to email Lars and ask him if I can take a deduction against my royalty checks for all the MP3 versions of my songs that are available on Napster. And I better call my agent and tell him to raise my performance fees for next year. Then I have to call the record label and see what’s holding up the advance for my next album. Oh, shoot. I forgot to follow up on P.J. Harvey’s commodities recommendation and…”

“Enough already. I get the picture. But tell me, why did you ever become a musician in the first place? The way you talk, you sound like a stock broker.”

“You’re not the first to say that, but there’s a very good reason I chose the life I lead.”

“There is?”

“Oh, yes. I’m in it for the music.”