“Hi, Harry. Yes, it’s been a while.”

“I just saw your ex-wife the other day. Looks like she’s doing okay.”

“Annie? Please, don’t remind me.”

“Rough marriage, eh?”

“You said it. No matter what I did, it just wasn’t enough. And she was always insulting me in that squeaky British accent of hers.”

“What part of England is she from?”

“Oh, she’s not from England. She just wants people to think she’s British. She’s actually from Bakersfield.”


“Oh, yeah. I can still hear her voice. Like the time I forgot that blink-182 is scheduled to appear on one date of the Vans Warped Tour 01. She said my ‘lights were on but nobody was home.'”

“You gotta admit, Ralph, most people do know that one.”

“Yeah, but she didn’t have to rub it in my face. Just like when she yelled at me for mixing up the dates for Madonna. I mean, can anyone blame me for confusing the New York City shows with the ones in East Rutherford? She said I was ‘a few slices short of a loaf.'”

“I dunno, Ralph. Even my youngest knows that schedule.”

“Then there was that time when I forgot who’s playing at the Staples Center this summer. She said I was ‘few windows short of a desktop.'”

“What? You didn’t know that , featuring Reba McEntire and Martina McBride, is playing there in July, followed by Depeche Mode and Eric Clapton in August? Even my dog knows that one, Ralph.”

“I know, Harry. It’s just that… that… I haven’t really adjusted to single life. And the house seems so empty.”

“You miss her, uh?”

“Yeah. Even with all the insults and mood swings, I still miss the little woman.”

“Well, then, don’t worry, Ralph. She’ll come back, someday.”

“You really think so, Harry?”

“Sure, Ralph. Those high ratings for The Weakest Link can’t last forever.”