“Coming right up. Say, why the glum face?”

“Yesterday was our first year wedding anniversary, and it, well, it didn’t go quite as planned.”


“And I tried so hard to make it just like our wedding night. I rented the same limo for the evening. Heck, I even reserved the very same bridal suite at the Ritz downtown. I wanted everything to be just like our first night together as man and wife.”

“Sounds romantic. Lemme guess, the hotel lost your reservation.”

“Oh, no. The hotel was fine. There was a bottle of champagne waiting in the room, just like last year. I put the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on the doorknob, just like last year. Then we stood in the middle of the room, looked deep into each other’s eyes, and… and… that’s when it happened.”

“That’s when what happened?”

“That’s when she noticed the keyboard next to the TV.”

“Oh, no, not WebTV?”

“Uh, uh. Before I could say anything, she flicked on the TV, grabbed the keyboard, punched in Pollstar.com and started looking at the schedules for Dick Dale and Jethro Tull.”

“Those are new listings. I gotta admit, they caught my attention when they first went up.”

“Then she looked up the individual lineups for the Vans Warped Tour 2002.”

“That can take forever. I know it kept me up half the night.”

“Suddenly she started cursing the computer. ‘I know those #$%^@#@$ things are in here somewhere,’ she said. And then she started clicking on the dates for Jimmy Buffett and Pink.”

“Whoa! That’s pretty strong language. What was she looking for?”

“The U2 summer dates. I swear, she must have looked at every tour itinerary on Pollstar.com, from 112 to Zydefunk. I never saw her so ticked off. She started pounding the keyboard and spitting at the monitor, I thought she was going to explode.”

“She must be a big fan.”

“The biggest. Anyway, I tried to tell her, that despite what she heard, the band wasn’t touring this year. That’s when she threw the keyboard at me.”

“Wow. And to think of all the trouble you went through to make last night just like your wedding night. I’m really sorry for you.”

“Yeah. We had the same limo, the same driver, even the same hotel room, just like last year. And all she did was look up tour dates for Ty Herndon and Wilco, and swear like a drunken sailor at the computer. If only…”

“If only the room didn’t have WebTV?”

“No. Sigh. If only U2 had dates for her to look at. Then it would have been just like last year.”