Why not rent one of our Pollstar.com data processors?

Yes, the unthinkable has finally happened. You can hire one of our world-renowned tour date processors to liven up your social functions. For years our tour date processors have been entertaining music industry bigwigs with their tales of entering dates for War, Cowboy Junkies and Blue Oyster Cult. Now, you, too, can have the wit and wisdom that is Pollstar.com for your next social gala.

Take tour operator #412, otherwise known as “Big Red,” for example. Big Red can make your event a smashing success. He’ll regale your party guests with stories about entering dates for Cheap Trick and he’ll have them on the edge of their seats with his musings on Dynamite Boy and Creedence Clearwater Revisited. Big Red is available for an hourly fee, much less if you provide transportation and incidental medical expenses, and prefers an open bar.

Or how about a lady celebrity to rub elbows with your party guests? Operator #3991, otherwise known as Binky, has entertained royalty with her stories about processing dates for Martina McBride, Jonatha Brooke and Alanis Morissette, and is the only Pollstar.com employee that has been married and widowed seven times. Currently, Binky’s legal status prevents her from leaving California, but she hopes to be able to travel within the United States by the end of the year, as well as Alaska, providing that the plane doesn’t stop in Canada.

Make your next event a Pollstar.com event! For more information, including photos, rates and parole officers, contact Pollstar.com today, and soon, you’ll be saying, “That’s not my uncle wearing the lamp shade on his head. That’s a tour date processor from Pollstar.com!”