“Coming right up. Say, haven’t I seen you before? Aren’t you-“

“Satan. Prince of Darkness, at your service.”

“I thought I recognized you. But what are you doing here?”

“Just catching my fire and brimstone breath. All that peer-to-peer song-trading has kept me busy of late.”

“Oh?”

“Uh, uh. You know, three years ago, I thought all I had to do was to give that college student a vision of trading MP3s of Ryan Adams and Peter Gabriel across the Net and that would be it. But, oh, no. Now there’s so many different file-swapping networks that even I can’t keep up with them. What with tempting millions of music fans into violating copyright laws by sharing songs by Hooverphonic, Earshot and Mudvayne. Oh, well, a devil’s work is never done.”

“Judging from the news, I’ll bet you’ve got your hands full. Like the corporate scandals and the impending war in the Middle East.”

“Hey, wait a minute. You can’t pin that stuff on me. Wars bore me, and I haven’t been in a corporate boardroom since I brokered the AOL / Time Warner deal three years ago. No, I’ve been up to my horns in song-trading.”

“Well, whatever keeps you busy.”

“Tell me about it. Do you know how tough it is to keep millions of people swapping songs by major labels recording artists? Heck, every day I have to tempt people into ripping CDs by, oh, I don’t know, Sheryl Crow and Enrique Iglesias, and distributing the MP3s on the Net. Oh, well, at least it gives one of my other long-term projects something to do.”

“Huh? What do you mean, ‘your other long-term projects?'”

“Lawyers, of course. One of my finest achievements.”

“I should have known. So, are you saying that you didn’t have anything to do with Saddam Hussein and his weapons of mass destruction?”

“Of course not. When it comes to Saddam, a demon like me just can’t improve upon perfection. But you know, I think I liked him better when he hosted that kids show on TV back in the ’60s.”

“Kids show?”

“You don’t remember? It was a great show. Every week Saddam and his partner, a talking moose, would have the most hilarious adventures. Plus, great musical guests, like Chuck Berry, Little Richard and Jerry Lee Lewis.”

“Now I know you’re pulling my leg. Saddam Hussein never hosted a kiddie show on TV.”

“If I’m lying, I’m dyin’.”

“But Saddam and a talking moose? That just sounds a little too far-fetched. Even for you.”

“Come on now. You mean to tell me that you don’t remember The Iraqi & Bullwinkle Show?