Rocko here.’s new customer service representative.

You know, there’s been some rumors in the press that everything ain’t been on the up and up since my pal Tony Pollstar took over the family tour date business. There’s been stories in the local paper claiming that Tony has been eliminating any employee that’s not of the blood, so to speak. Well, not to worry, cuz when it comes to processing schedules for David Gray and Vanessa Carlton, Tony could care less about where a goodfella comes from, cuz is a multi-rational corporation. It’s just like Tony sez, “Here at we’re an equal opportunity enforcer.”

Anyway, starting tomorrow, Tony and me are going to introduce a new service that we like to call “concert insurance.” Now, suppose you’re going to see Def Leppard or Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band. With a concert insurance policy signed by Tony Pollstar, you won’t have to worry about any accidents, like a broken leg or a severed brake cable, happening to you on the way to the show. Trust us on this one, you’re gonna want to sign up for some concert insurance coverage right away. Like Tony sez, “You don’t wanna be in an accident that we’re waiting for to happen.”

Oh, and one more thing. Some people have been asking about the sudden demise of Tony’s cousin and family bookkeeper, Horace Pollstar. They wanna know if it had anything to do about how we’ve been getting the dates for Sixty Watt Shaman and Aimee Mann. They also wanna know why Horace was found with 58 bullet holes in his body and 49 stab wounds in the back. Furthermore, they wanna know why Horace was found floating face down in Fresno Harbor. Well, rest assured, Tony had nuttin’ to do with that.

For it’s just like Tony always sez, “You can lead a Horace to water, but you can’t make him sink.”