It sure has been hectic these last few days. What with new dates for Coldplay, Edwin McCain and Sister Hazel coupled with a shortened workweek and Thanksgiving less than 24 hours away we thought we’d never have time to shop for the traditional holiday meal. Luckily, there are more than a few turkeys walking around here at headquarters.

We keep them out back next to the old teen pop star burial ground. Now, if you’re wondering why we have so many turkeys at a dot-com tour-date operation such as this, the answer is simple. The concert industry donates them to us. After spending the entire year hustling booking agents for the dates for Peter Gabriel and The Rolling Stones or pestering managers for the routings for Cher, Moby and Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers, come this time of year more than a few concert professionals are willing to give us the bird.

Of course, we all can’t choose the Thanksgiving turkey, lop off its head, pluck and stuff, then pop it into the oven. Instead, we take turns. For example, see that lady with the ear-to-ear grin on her face? That’s employee #419 who got to wield the ax right after she finished prepping the dates for Hate Eternal, after which, employee #610 laughingly pulled each and every feather as he ran down the dates for Boneshakers and Beaver Nelson. Of course, after busting our buns to gather dates for John McEuen, Barrage and Audiovent during this shortened workweek, everyone wanted to cram the wet, stale breadcrumbs up the turkey’s behind. So we drew lots.

And now we’re just about ready to slip our bird into the oven. However, we’re tour date professionals, accustomed to posting schedules for India.Arie and Chris LeDoux, and it’s not like we cook a turkey each and every day. We’re always uncertain about a few things. Like last year when we had a bare-knuckle free-for-all rumble over how long to cook the bird. Or two years ago when we went at each other with carving knives over which wine, Night Train or MD 20-20, to serve with the feast.

Unfortunately, this year is no exception. Tempers are flaring over one very important detail when it comes to cooking this year’s Thanksgiving dinner. You see, opinions are just like that bird’s stuffing chute – everybody has one, and we just can’t decide on the proper course of action. And try as we might, we just can’t come to an agreement.

How many boxes of Shake N’ Bake does one need to cook a 30 pound turkey, anyway?