Tours de Farce: Endless Love
“My promoter is so smart, he can figure out the fees for Kenny Loggins, Folk Implosion and Dave Matthews Band without using a calculator or a computer.”
Yeah, concert fans sure love their promoters…
“Oh, yeah? Well, my promoter is so smart, he can book a date with Ben Harper with one hand tied behind his back.”
There’s nothing like the love a concert fan has for his or her promoter…
“That’s nothing. My promoter is so tough, he can smash a beer can with his head while signing Vans Warped Tour to play at his amphitheatre.”
Unfortunately, there are some promoters that go to bed every night unloved…
“Ha! Your promoter ain’t so tough. My promoter is so tough, Springsteen’s people always return his calls. On the same day.”
In fact, a recent study showed that 3 out of ten promoters have never experienced the deep, unconditional love of a concert fan…
“Oh, give it up. My promoter is so brave, he hired Lizzy Grubman to run his parking lot on the night of the Jimmy Buffett concert.”
It’s an undisputed fact that the more love a promoter receives, the better the concerts he or she presents…
“You wanna talk about brave? My promoter is so brave, he booked Sammy Hagar to play at his venue and then sent a pair of complimentary tickets to Eddie Van Halen.”
When was the last time you hugged your promoter?
“Oh, yeah? My promoter is so brave, not only did he talk Axl Rose into playing his sports arena, but he also made him start the show on time.”
“No, way, Axl would cream a promoter for doing that.”
When was the last time you said “I love you” to your promoter?
“It’s the truth. After the concert, Axl threatened to trash the dressing room, but my promoter stood up to him.”
Remember, an unloved promoter is a lonely promoter. A lonely promoter means fewer concerts…
“Wow! Then what happened?”
For if promoters are not loved, the music may someday stop. Forever…
“Then we took our promoter to the hospital. But it was worth it to see such a great concert!”
This message brought to you by the Love Your Promoter Foundation.
“In fact, the doctor says our promoter will be able to eat solid food again in, oh, maybe three or four weeks.”
Won’t you help?