“Hey, Ralph. We missed you at the big meeting yesterday.

“Yeah, well, something came up, Harry.”

“Lemme guess. Concert tickets?”

“That’s right, Harry. Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band at San Francisco’s went on sale yesterday, so I hustled down to the ticket outlet bright and early in order to buy tickets. Man, you wouldn’t believe the crowd.”

“Busy, eh?”

“Busy ain’t the word, Harry. Plus, they were selling tickets for all the other big shows, like the Eagles and the Sex Pistols. I’ve never been so confused in all my life.”

“Confused? Why so?”

“The lines, Harry. They had separate lines for every big concert. For instance, the line for Mariah Carey went all the way to the door.”


“Uh, uh. But that wasn’t nearly as long as the line for Steely Dan. That went all the way to the street.”

“That doesn’t surprise me.”

“Then there was the line for Insane Clown Posse. That one went down the street and ended at the liquor store.”


“I’m telling you, Harry, every show had its own line. Plus, some idiot goofed on the signs. The sign over the Nelly line said it was the line for Radiohead and the sign for the Social Distortion line said Steve Winwood. Oh, what a mess.”

“I hear you. That happened to me last week. All the lines were mislabeled and I didn’t know if I was in the right line for Andrew W.K. tickets until I got to the counter. But you got your tickets, right?”


“Oh, Ralph, don’t tell me you got in the wrong line.”

“Well, I thought it was the right line, Harry. You see, I stood in the Queensryche line for half an hour, before I realized my mistake. Then I moved over to what I thought was the right line, but it turned out to be Tom Russell, instead.”

“So, what did you do?”

“I took a guess, Harry. After all, it’s a stadium show, so I figured that the longest line had to be the line for Bruce tickets, despite what the sign said.”

“And it wasn’t?”

“I’m afraid not.”

“But if the longest line in the place wasn’t for Springsteen tickets, then what was the line for?”

“Well, let me put it this way, Harry. I’m now a candidate for governor in the upcoming California recall election.”

“Really? You, too, eh?”

“Yeah. Don’t you hate it when that happens?”