Tours de Farce: Public Service Announcement
When you’re finished looking at the new Skinny Puppy schedule, we have something to tell you. We have a message so timely that we wanted to be sure you received it. That’s why we’re here. We wanted to deliver this message to you personally.
But it’s a very important message, so you might want to sit down. Better yet, why don’t you browse the dates for Pat Metheny and Three Dog Night, first. You know, just to get comfortable.
We’ve been spending this day delivering similar messages to the rest of our customers, and man oh man, are we beat. It’s a tough job trying to contact each and every one of you Pollstar.com users. And it’s even harder gaining your attention once you’re immersed in looking up dates for artists like Juliana Hatfield or bands like Dropkick Murphys or 10,000 Maniacs. But now that you’re listening, we’ll get this over with. But we gotta warn you . It ain’t pretty.
It’s a message about the economy. That’s right. About stocks, bonds, interest rates and inflation. It’s about recession, depression, possession and maybe even repossession. It’s about Britney Spears, Bob Dylan and Jewel. This is not an easy message to deliver, but it’s an even more difficult message to receive. However, we think you’re tough enough. We think you can take it.
So, do you wanna hear what we have to say, or would you rather look at the dates for The Darkness before we get started? What’s that? You’re ready? Okay, but don’t say we didn’t warn you. Here, lean over and put your ear up against the monitor so we can whisper it to you. Ready?
GET OFF YOUR BUTT AND BUY SOME CONCERT TICKETS!
Our economy needs your help now more than ever and you can help by hustling down to Ticketmaster and picking out your seats for great shows by Boston and Gloria Estefan. Because if we don’t get our economy back on track, you just might find yourself standing in the unemployment line next to a very ticked off Courtney Love. And believe you me, you don’t want that to happen.
Oh, and one more thing. It doesn’t stop with buying the tickets. When you get to the concert, no matter if it’s Korn, The Moody Blues or the Pixies, be sure to buy a couple of T-shirts, hats, buttons or whatever. Better yet, whip out the plastic and go for one of those big-ticket items like a finely crafted leather tour jacket. After all, merchandisers need love too.
Well, thanks for listening. Now go out there and buy some tickets. No, not “later.” Right now. Don’t make us come looking for you.
Oh, and you can take your ear off the monitor. From where we sit, all that wax is really disgusting.