“Coming right up, Eddie. But you should take it easy on that stuff. What’s the matter? Problems at home? Family getting you down?”

“No, Joe. The family is fine. I’m just trying to forget about last week’s election.”

“You’re not the first one to say that. That Michael Moore fellow was in here last night. Man, I thought he’d never leave.”

“Can you blame him? We’re all doomed.”

“Oh, surely it’s not that bad, Eddie.”

“Not that bad? Privatization of Social Security? More tax breaks for the rich? An even bigger deficit? And you’re saying it’s not that bad? Which planet have you been living on, Joe?”

“Why, Planet USA, of course. But I’ll tell you something, Eddie. Whenever politics start getting me down, do you know what I do?”

“Er… Pour yourself a drink?”

“No, of course not. I think about concerts.”

“Concerts? And that really helps?”

“It got me through eight years of Clinton, Eddie. It’s like what I told that Dan Rather guy when he was in here. I told him, `forget about those forged documents. Heck anybody can make a mistake. But what you don’t want to do is miss Bob Dylan when he comes to town.'”

“And that cheered him up?”

“You bet it cheered him up. It’s hard to dwell on politics when there’s a good show, like Beastie Boys or Martina McBride, coming to town.”

“I don’t know, Joe. Sure, those are all good acts, but I’m still depressed.”

“Then think about Godsmack and all those acoustic shows they’re headlining on nights they’re not opening for Metallica.”


“And if that doesn’t do it, think about Keith Urban, Amy Grant and Gov’t Mule.”

“I gotta admit, Joe, those are all good shows, but I’m still down in the dumps about the election.”

“Keep at it, Eddie. Think about Pat Metheny Group, R.E.M. and Green Day.”


“And Joe Diffie, Diana Ross and Dixie Dregs.”

“I’m trying, Joe. I’m trying.”

“And don’t forget about Jay-Z, GWAR and Aaron Carter.”

“It’s no use, Joe. I mean, I’m trying to wrap my brain around those shows, but I just can’t get the idea of four more years off of my mind. Sigh…. Four more years of Cheney. Four more years of the right wing calling the shots. Four more years of the Bush Twins!”

“Whoa! Take it easy there, Eddie. I didn’t realize that you were so political.”

“Neither did I, Joe. That is, until this last election.”

“Yeah? That’s gotta be tough. You know, being a Democrat and coming so close to winning.”

“Uh? A Democrat? Wait a second, Joe. You got it all wrong. I’m not a Democrat.”

“You’re not?”

“Oh, no. I’m a moderate Republican.”

“Gosh, Eddie. I am sooo sorry. Here, you want another round? On the house.”

“I think I’ll pass, Joe. I’m supposed to go over to Arlen Specter’s house. You know, the senator from Pennsylvania? He and I are going to have a few beers and talk about `the good ol’ days.'”