Now give them a variety show. You know, like Donnie and Marie or The Bradys. Completely insane or bloody genius?

The good news is you won’t have to wait long to find out. “Osbournes: Reloaded,” featuring Ozzy and the rest of his brilliantly dysfunctional clan ( or “the first family of being f***ed up,” as Kelly puts it) debuts Tuesday night on Fox.

So can we expect an Osbourne family salute to the music of the ’20s a la the Osmonds? Mama Sharon, who bristled when questioned about the suitability of a clan with well publicised past addicitons doing a family show, told TV Guide yes and no.

“There’s nothing like the nucleus of a family working together,” says Osbourne. “And variety is historically for the family. It’s just that we feel that we’ve brought it up to 2010.” As such, the show will feature audience pranks and stunts, in addition to more traditional sketches and musical performances.

I know what I’ll be watching Tuesday night. Welcome back Osbournes!

Monday, March 30
Chris Franjola, Billy Gardell – “Chelsea Lately”
Adele – “Late Show with David Letterman”
Lisa Lampanelli, Gavin DeGraw – “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno”
Glasvegas – “Late Night with Jimmy Fallon”
– “Jimmy Kimmel Live!”

Tuesday, March 31
Ozzy Osbourne – “Live with Regis and Kelly”
Greg Proops – “Chelsea Lately” – rerun
Marianne Faithfull – “Late Show with David Letterman”
Fall Out Boy – “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno”
Gomez – “Late Night with Jimmy Fallon”
Robin Thicke – “Last Call with Carson Daly”

Wednesday, April 1
Diana Krall – “Live with Regis and Kelly”
Keith Urban – “The Ellen DeGeneres Show”
Aries Spears, Bryan Callen, Whitney Cummings – “Chelsea Lately”
Ray LaMontagne – “Late Show with David Letterman”
Christopher Guest, Michael McKean, Harry Shearer – “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno”
Stevie Nicks, Nick Thune – “Late Night with Jimmy Fallon”
Les Claypool – “Jimmy Kimmel Live!”
Heidi Newfield – “Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson”

Thursday, April 2
Craig Shoemaker – “The View”
Howie Mandel – “The Ellen DeGeneres Show”
Carlos Santana – “The Tavis Smiley Show”
Sarah Colonna, Michael Yo – “Chelsea Lately”
The Fray – “Late Show with David Letterman”
Taylor Swift – “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno”
Dr. Dog – “Late Night with Jimmy Fallon”
Eli Young Band – “Jimmy Kimmel Live!”

Friday, April 3
Nick Lachey – “Live with Regis and Kelly”
Martina McBride – “The Ellen DeGeneres Show”
– “The Tavis Smiley Show”
Gary Valentine – “Chelsea Lately”
Colin Mochrie, The Killers – “The Hour with George Stroumboulopoulos”
Denis Leary, Diana Krall – “Late Show with David Letterman”
Miley Cyrus – “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno”
Cold War Kids – “Late Night with Jimmy Fallon”
Lily Allen – “Jimmy Kimmel Live!”
Zooey Deschanel, Henry Cho – “Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson”

Saturday, April 4
Arcade Fire – “Austin City Limits” – rerun
Phoenix – “Saturday Night Live”