“And I’m Sid!”

“We’re Sid and Nancy, the happiest married couple in the world.”

“And do you know what keeps a couple like us together? You tell them, Nancy.”

“Be glad to, Sid. The answer is concerts.”

“Nancy’s right, folks. A good show, like Cher or Patty Griffin, is what marriage is all about.”

“Well, wait a minute, Sid. I was thinking more along the lines of Rick Springfield and Kottonmouth Kings.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Nancy. We discussed this earlier, and we agreed that I’d pick the bands.”

“You mean, like you picked your nose all through that Dave Matthews Band concert last week? That was the most disgusting thing I ever saw.”

“Oh, yeah? Well, at least I wasn’t passing gas during Yanni’s encore.”

“Heck, Sid, the way you were eyeing that cute little usherette all night, I’m surprised you even noticed.”

“I wasn’t eyeing her, Nancy. I just thought I’d seen her before. Maybe at Neil Young or Bryan Adams.”

“Yeah, right, you lying sack of crap. Sometimes I wonder why I ever married you.”

“That’s an easy one, Nancy. We both love concerts.”

“That’s right. Shows like Martina McBride, Alan Jackson and Linkin Park.”

“Ain’t that the truth? Yes, folks, we’re the happiest married couple in the world and next week Nancy and I are going to see Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band.”

“And I suppose you’ll start clapping as soon as the band goes on stage.”

“And what if I do? If it feels good, why hold it in?”

“You were clapping all the way through Michael McDonald, Dixie Chicks and Jonny Lang. You just can’t wait until the ending, can you? Isn’t that just like a man?”

“There you go again, Nancy. You’re always nagging me about something.”

“That’s because there’s so much to pick on. I swear, the way you plowed through those concessions at Bonnie Raitt and Fleetwood Mac, it’s a wonder you can even buckle your belt.”

“You never complained about that before we got married.”

“That’s because we were to busy seeing Steel Pulse, Willie Nelson and The Rolling Stones.”

“Oh, those were great shows.”

“Yes, Sid, I’ll have to agree with you. Those were fantastic shows. I just love going to concerts.”

“And I love going to shows with you, Nancy.”

“That’s because a good show, like Annie Lennox and Eagles, is the cement that bonds those marriage vows together.”

“Take it from us, folks.”

“A healthy marriage depends on concerts.”

“So, be sure to see all the shows you can, like David Gray and Al Green.”

“And James Taylor, R.E.M. and SHeDaisy.”

“And someday, if you’re lucky.”

“You’ll end up just like us!”